Everyday Impossibility

Whilst driving from point A to point B, I had glanced at a particularly ominous cloud and, as with any situation, overthought it. Could you imagine how much water would have to evaporate to make ALL THOSE CLOUDS!? I mean, those things are HUGE! This quickly brought my attention to various aspects of the topic that simply screamed, “clouds are an impossibility.”

Of course; now that I’ve discovered yet another severe error in the structure of this world, I have to think of a solution.

Being under the assumption that you are fully aware of how clouds are formed and how precipitation works, I shall explain my thought process. Such a high altitude is much cooler than temperatures closer to the ground. It’s a well-known principle that cooling increases density. For this to hold true, the water particles that evaporate would have to become ice. Flying ice bergs! (not so gravity-friendly)

Then it hit me. The atmosphere is a lot less dense in these altitudes, due to gravity holding most of our atmospher tight to the ground.  Everyone knows how objects act in space, where no atmosphere exists at all.

Allow me to elaborate; the water particles do, in fact solidify into ice. But due to the thin atmosphere, the ice particles aren’t capable of joining each other efficiently, which would be the formation of our flying ice berg. (obviously they will eventually get join up; which is when precipitation comes in)

Now that we’ve got that cleared up; back to the original statement. SO MUCH WATER!!!!! Well, because of the physics that prevent clouds from being “sky burgs,” the clouds are allowed ALOT of time to accumulate evaporated water. Hence becoming massive. And don’t hit me with the argument that rain is the dissipation of clouds! That only drops a small portion of the cloud(you always see the storm cloud after the storm is done >.>)

And thusly I shall conclude that clouds are perfectly possible.

HOWEVER! Gravity still makes no sense at all. You can’t fight my logic, and I can’t pick apart the idea of gravity, so clearly gravity is the ultimate proof of God. AHAH!

TEF: Day of The Dead Abiogenesis

The Endless Forest is throwing yet another party! The Deer of The Dead Abiogenesis will fall upon our Forest in celebration of Halloween- tomorrow! Or at least, here it’s tomorrow; at 4PM to be precise. When do you have to log on to join the fiesta? Check this reference to see what time it will start where you live! Don’t miss it!

For those of you with Fraps or GameCam; community videos would be greatly appreciated, especially for those who cannot make it to the event! Also remember to take lots of screenshots! Abiogenesis are the most exciting events the Forest will ever see- definitely worth scrapbooking!

If this is your first Abiogenesis- I recommend that you lower your graphic settings as the even is usually very heavy on most machines and lag is likely to attack even my monster setup. Be sure to stay until the end for a Forest-wide dance party! What is Abiogenesis? It’s when the Twin Gods(Michael and Aureia) arise and party hard with all us stags. They’re shows are truly amazing!

Also; Mr.Giant Zombie Deer will likely be awake, for those who haven’t yet had the chance to meet him!

Dollar Store Stupidity

• Customer/Staff

• Can you fill my prescription?
• The drug store is next door. This is the Dollar Store.
• *he comes in through our OTHER door*
• Can you fill my prescription?
• You’re still in the Dollar Store.

• Do you sell those- eh, doo-hickie’s?
• Define doo-hickie.
• The ones- the…you know, those doo-hickies?
• You might try looking down this isle- and all the ones after it >.>

• Have a nice day!
• NO~ this day is terrible it’s snowing and it’s cold and I’m the only one not wearing a T-shirt!!!
• Welcome to Canada, sir- have a nice day!

• Can you go to the back and see if you have any more of these?
• We don’t have any back stock for seasonal.
• How do you know that? (all pissed off)
• I priced them all…

• Made in China? I no want. (Korean kid)
• Everything here is made in China.

• What’s this thing supposed to do?
• I have no idea.

• What are the cameras for?
• To keep people from stealing. Please remove that dinosaur from your sock.

• [after the lights are off]
• Oh, are you closing?
• We closed 15 minutes ago.

What’s Left Over

*sigh* How long since my last post? How long since my last post worth reading? Eat it up.

I said once that the whole of the human race should spend a minute a day weeping for lost beauty. At the time I was thinking of the natural world and the methodical destruction of it (and specifically of stars; how long has it been since I, in big city Edmonton, saw more than a dozen stars at a time?), but now I want to widen my statement to include all the times we lose beauty in our lives.

I think children are smarter than almost all adults, and the younger the child, the better. Some kids are miniature adults nowadays – it breaks my heart to see a nine year girl worrying that she’s fat (and she’s thin as a stick, too). Children…they don’t know what society expects of them, so they don’t conform, they haven’t formed strong views on much of anything, they’re not racist or sexist or anything really…blank slates. Psyche, without persona. Humans as humans were meant to be.

Society’s insane. It wants logic and forward-thinking, wisdom and experience, but it also wants to look no older than twenty five. It wants new ideas and spontaneity, but rewards those who are truly spontaneous, saying what they think when they think it and moving however they want with the label “crazy” and murmurs about autism.

You know what I think? Everyone’s too future-centric. The enjoyment of the present is lost in the hopes of the future, and nobody realises that jam tomorrow is nothing when compared to dry bread today. There are people in my class (most of whom are 14 with a few 13-year-olds hanging in there) saying what they’ll do for A levels or IB (seventeen or eighteen), forming opinions about which sixth form college they’ll go to (seventeen/eighteen again), looking at universities (twenty) and what they’ll read there.

I wish the whole world would slow down. The future can only be changed by working in the present, and if you don’t enjoy the present, where will you be in the future? Stop. Slown down. Stand and stare. You’ve got the whole of your life ahead of you! Plenty of time; all the time you’ll ever have. If you love it, do it. Who cares what the world thinks? Who cares about money (it’s just paper and metal, after all)? Who cares about the future? Dry bread today! Tomorrow never comes!

Something I don’t understand is people taking jobs they hate (eg McDonald’s…ugh…) for money. Let’s say you spend 8 hours sleeping. You’ve got 16 hours in each 24-hour day to live, and if you’re working 9-5 then you’re working 8 hours a day. Work in a job you hate and you’re spending half your waking hours doing something you detest. What a waste of a life. I’d rather starve happily then eat miserably.

Abrupt end to my rambling, of course- stick that in your pipe and smoke it!!!!!

Harry Potter and the Chinese Sequels

After having thoroughly been disappointed by the ending of Deathly Hallows; and lack of room for a sequel, China comes up with it’s own tales to tell!

 

2002; Harry Potter and The Filler of Big

This title just plain makes me laugh. A better translation can suggest “Harry Potter and The Big Funnel,” but I still haven’t stopped laughing XD!!!

Here we have the hopeless front cover starring said funnel;

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The first page shows the Chinese book bootlegger’s mastery of clipart-based graphic design, and both typography and paper which suggest the finest of 1970s telephone directories. Chapter one; “Party”

 

Then the Inner Mongolian People’s Publishing Company brings us “Harry Potter and the Beaker of Burn”

Note the extensive copy write infringements on the covers, I don’t think pointing them out is necessary XD

But wait; what about this authentic Rowling photo in the rear flap; complete with author biography? And an official-looking copy write page! How dreadfully desperate…

Inside the book there’s also a poorly drawn spread of all the major characters; who seem to be melded together(especially Fred and George because they’re drawn as some mutated 2-headed kid) Except for Fluffy, who sits in the corner flaunting at least 80 anatomical issues.

 

And then the long-awaited 8th book; Harry Potter and Leopard Walks Up To Dragon!

‘Harry Potter and Leopard Walks Up to Dragon’ was released in China shortly before ‘Order of the Phoenix’. Here’s an excerpt from the first chapter…

“Harry doesn’t know how long it will take to wash the sticky cake off his face. For a civilised young man, it is disgusting to have dirt on any part of his body. He lies in the elegant bathtub, keeps wiping his face, and thinks about Dudley’s face, which is as fat as Aunt Petunia’s ass.”

The book was, as it turns out, was actually just a word for word translation of ‘The Hobbit’, with a new first and last chapter. The other, working under the guise of J.K. Rowling, simply substituted the character names for Harry Potter characters, and used ‘Wizard of Oz’ character names to fill out the cast.

 

A true masterpeice XD

Several other fake Harry Potter novels have made it big over there, including “Harry Potter and the Half-Blooded Relative Prince,” “Harry Potter and the Hiking Dragon,” “Harry Potter and the Chinese Empire,” “Harry Potter and the Young Heroes,” “Rich Dad, Poor Dad and Harry Potter,” “Harry Potter and the Golden Armor,” “Harry Potter and the Crystal Vase,” and on and on. There are at least 12 such books circulating in China.

Rumors prior to the release of Order of The Pheonix suggest;

Zelda writes: “The title of the sixth book will be Harry Potter and the Green Flame Torch [Peter Pettigrew returns] when Harry finds a torch that gives off a green flame that will heal good and kill anything evil.”

 

Tribute to Princess Mononoke

Things that grow;

They will never cease

To do so.

But if they become

Things that don’t grow,

They will fail.

Respect is something

Worth growing,

Isn’t it?

Why can’t we live together? 

Great movie. Go watch it.

Something To Note

For the sake of human vocals; I’ve reduce the blog title down to ‘Industrial Strength’.

Three People

Three people busy in one average-sized house. Person B and C are in the same room. Person A needs to get a message to person C- so he/she yells the message across the house to person B to pass it on. Doesn’t it make logical sense that Person C will have heard it anyway!? Allow me to clarify;

A: Hey B, tell C that I’m hungry!!!!

B: C!!!! A’s HUNGRY!!!!!!!

C: I HEARD THE FIRST TIME SOMEBODY SCREAMED IT; I DON’T NEED TO HEAR IT AGAIN!!!!

No translation on this one; it’s just something worth writing but not quite worth reading.

Time to Spare?

“I’ve only just realized; spare time is the biggest scam since free iPods!”

 We start with all the free time in the world…then come up with some time-consuming, and much-loved hobby. School’s a minor annoyance. But that’s only 7 hours of a day. Still plenty of time for your beloved hobby. Then you get to the point where you can’t avoid getting a job. Where did all that extra time go!? Slowly you’re losing the time that you would so much rather spend on your hobby. It nags at the back of your mind- you end up losing sleep to keep up with it. And *poof* eventually it will be lost altogether. Perfectly good skills gone to waste! Spare time? No such thing exists for you. What a scam.

M&M’s Shot Their Own Foot

Congratulations to theater packs of M&M’s for proving their own motto wrong; “Melts in your mouth, not your hands.”

Bored out of my mind I decide to go to the local theater to watch a movie; Transformers, to be specific. Several things disappointed me when I got there. Firstly; no more free refills on large fountain pop! Secondly; I grab a handful of M&M’s and end up with rainbow-poo-colored hands! Thirdly; The MOVEH!!!! o.O

I’ve been seeing so many reviews for Transformers!!! Most common among such reviews suggest “truly breathtaking CGI” and “More effort put into special effects than storyline.” The CGI was indeed very well done; but not nearly as well done as I expected after seeing so many praising reviews. Ever seen FF VII Advent Children? I’m not seeing any possible extensions to the storyline, so I don’t get what people are complaining about in that area, but the ‘interest-making’ elements(such as comedy & SFX) were extremely lame and not very well-thought-out. Go read Harry Potter instead

So, as you can see; the M&M’s industry has failed miserably at maintaining their reputation. Somebody should sue for false advertising- as well as for the production of a candy that causes lame movies and loss of free refills. What am I even trying to say?